Run to…not from

 

“…and the man and his wife hid themselves.” Genesis 3:8

I grew up in a culture that promotes running away from problems (Midwest nice??) rather than facing them. 

Have a problem with a friend? Solve it with other people. Don’t become a problem. 

Have a problem with leadership? Talk about it with all the other people that are having problems but don’t be a “disgruntled employee.” 

Have a problem with your neighbor? Suffer in silence. 

Growing up this way has understandably had an impact on the way I respond to problems. 

And it seemingly started way back in the garden of Eden. 

When you disobey God’s command, hide yourself. 

Approaching life this way has understandable implications. When you are only avoiding problems to come across as kind or “not a problem” you find a way to release your problems and it’s usually not helpful. 

Suffering in silence, bottling up emotions, complaining to others, or exploding with anger after it becomes too much. 

That’s why the Lord commands us to “keep no record of wrongs” (1 Corinthians 13:5) 

In order to avoid resentment and bitterness and live at peace with everyone (as much as it depends on you — Romans 12:18), it is necessary to address problems in a loving and kind way (remember love is also not rude - 1 Corinthians 13:5a). 

Through pre-martial counseling and other Biblical study and teaching, I have learned to address problems before they become big. 

In my relationship with God, this looks like running TO God when I have a problem instead of running FROM him. When I sin, it means going TO God to help me solve problems rather than hiding FROM God so I can fix my problems before he finds out (silly thought process—I know. Hiding from the one who knows all and is outside of time). 

In my relationship with my love, this looks like remembering that we are on the SAME TEAM, so I need to run TO him when I have a problem or get hurt by something so we can solve it TOGETHER, rather than hiding FROM him so I can have time to figure it out by myself. 

There is definitely wisdom in navigating all this because sometimes it is wise to wait. But my attitude should never be one of hiding. I should be willing and ready to discuss problems so they don’t become bigger ones. 

Running to the Lord first and then to my love to be a peacemaker rather than a “peacefaker” (term not my own). 

May the Lord continue to give us strength to run TO each other to solve problems rather than running away and causing even more. 

“If possible, so far as it depends on you, live peaceably with all (including those that live close to you).” - Romans 12:18

6 more days!! 

Wait for What?? Oh, Wait for WHO!

"I will wait for you, on your word I will rely.

I will wait for you, until my soul is satisfied." ("Psalm 130" by Shane and Shane)

What a powerful statement. 

To wait is not easy. 

We get impatient to wait for our meal, our 5-second internet delay, and a 60-second wait for a stoplight. 

If Liberia has taught me one thing, it's how to slow down. 

Waiting for a meal can be 2 hours or more, internet can be out for days on end, and traffic can be delayed for up to 5 hours (okay...maybe that's not sooo different). 

Everything is slower here. 

But not only that. Everything is much more unpredictable here. Electricity can go out for a few seconds or a few days. Flat tires are a common occurrence during road travel. Unexpected (but very desired) visitors can delay your study plans. Rainstorms can delay an event by 1-2 hours. 

A typical day is Liberia is filled with much more variation than in America. 

But as a result, there are so many opportunities to be reminded to wait on the Lord. 

My love is so good at this. 

Food didn't cook on time? No problem. 

Our motorbike got a flat tire? Let me get it fixed quick. 

Our wedding plans are delayed? Let's keep seeking the Lord. 

As a result of his example, reading an excellent book on waiting ( Waiting Isn't a Waste - it's even on sale right now at Amazon!), and digging out the treasure of God's truth through His Word and beautiful gospel-centered worship, I have started to find opportunity in the unexpected rather than dread. 

I have started to see that relying on God for safe travel creates peace. Turning to God when I face a problem with friend produces wisdom. Trusting in Him for my present and my future gives me freedom. 

Not because those realities always turn out the way I expect. He doesn't always answer my prayer how I want. 

But when I choose to wait on the Lord, my soul is satisified. 

It's the reason Horatio Spafford could pen "It is well with my soul" after losing his wife and all his children in a boat accident.

It's the reason Job found hope and encouragement in the midst of arguably the worst life situations ever.

It's the reason missionaries around the world can suffer joyfully for the gospel.

It's the reason Jesus could go to the cross willingly. 

Because when your soul is satisfied, you want for nothing.

Of course, I am not perfect and neither is my love. We have been filled with doubts and fears even in our short time being together. 

But as we continue to seek the Lord first and wait on Him, we see amazing things come to fruition. 

We don't always understand what is happening or why, but we have built so much trust in the Lord and that results in peace. 

And so many times we can look back and see that the Lord absolutely knows what He is doing. He is trustworthy. 

"In this world, you will have trouble, but take heart for I have overcome the world." John 16:33

As we continue to "fix our eyes on Jesus" (Hebrews 12:2), continue to pray along with us. 

As the song mentions, we will continue to wait on the Lord -- not our bank account, the strengths of the other person, electricity, intelligence, or a thousand other "rocks" we tend to turn to instead of Christ. 

"I wait for the Lord, 

my soul waits,

and in his word I hope; 

my soul waits for the Lord

more than watchmen for the morning,

more than watchmen for the morning." 

Psalm 130: 5-6

One season of waiting is over in 7 More. DAYS!

God's Favor

"People like you."

My love said this to me as I got on the motorbike after we stopped for a brief rest from the journey. 

"What do you mean?" was my response. 

He explained that he had observed on multiple occasions that people were drawn to talk to me and be my friend.

He didn't know if it was the way I looked or my personality, but he noticed that people were definitely drawn. 

I realized that I had seen the same reality about my love. People are drawn to him. They notice his calm demeanor and his natural leadership. He stands out in a crowd. No one can really tell you why but there's "just something about him" that people are attracted too. 

I later learned about God's favor. It comes from a Hebrew word "khen" which describes two different types of grace 

1) When something is objectively beautiful. 

2) When someone is given favor when they don't possess it (think -- a robber getting an inheritance) Grace - Character of God Word Study

When I considered the idea of "khen," I realized that in different ways, the Lord has given us both "khen." There is some sort of "khen" that people are drawn to in us. 

Esther, in the Bible, also demonstrates "khen" when she is given favor and literally anything she wants even though she deserves death (Esther 4:11, 5:2, 6). She uses her favor to save her people. 

In the same way, Jesus demonstrates this idea to the nth degree when he uses his ultimate favor to redeem a broken people who all deserve death. Us. (Romans 6:23). 

So this raises a question in me "How do we use this "khen" for the glory of God?" 

That is our quest now. Figuring out how to complement our hearts for the gospel with the favor that God has given us. 

As we explore the beautiful reality of grace (getting something we don't deserve, namely life), we want to use the gifts and talents as well as the undeniably gracious gift of salvation to lift His name high. 

8 more days until we enter into a covenant to explore and share the reality of this grace every day!

Tears or No Tears...that is the question

I grew up in a family with a lot of tears. Many of them were mine. 

In fact, when Milton asked my family what they should know about me, they said, "Be prepared for tears."

Tears have always been a comfortable emotion for me to express many emotions...sadness, overwhelm, fear, happiness, and the list goes on.

Imagine my surprise to learn that Liberians do not express themselves using tears...ever. 

The only permissible time to cry is when someone has died or if someone is leaving and you don't know when (or if) you will see them again. 

This reality sent me on a journey to understand what the Bible says about tears and emotions. 

A journey that landed on Psalm 37. 

"Fret not yourself..."

I learned that "Fret not" represents an idea communicating to not be controlled by your emotions. 

It refers mostly to the emotion of anger, but the idea can also be extended to tears. I realized that being controlled by anything, including your emotions, does not properly display the self-control commanded throughout Scripture (fruit of the Spirit anyone??). 

Thank you Liberia for helping me to learn that tears are good when they are put under control.  

See the video below to hear some more thoughts on what the Lord taught me about emotions and Scripture.

In the meantime, I am grateful for how my love has the attitude to be a student of my emotions to help guide and protect me in the process. 

As I prepare for a very emotionally exciting day, here is a good reflection. 

9 more days!! 

One Unified Body

This mystery is that the Gentiles are fellow heirs, members of the same body, and partakers of the promise in Christ Jesus through the gospel"  Ephesians 3:6.

"There is neither Jew nor Greek...for you are all one in Christ Jesus...heirs according to promise." ~Galatians 3:28-29

As we prepare for our union as a couple, one reflection has become clear. 

We were both required to give up something in order to unite as one body. 

As we started to get to know each other more, our discussions centered around what we had been taught and beliefs we had developed and taken as our own over the years. 

We touched on different topics, and it became clear that our relationship would need to be based not on our opinion or the culture but on the Bible. 

So we started studying. Starting with the gospel and moving outward to the everyday ways of life, we started talking.

Who is Jesus? How has He impacted your life? What does “taking the Lord’s name in vain” mean? What does church leadership look like? What roles will we each carry in the relationship? What will parenting our children look like? 

Hours and hours and hours of conversation and counseling all centered around Bible-reading and prayer. Each topic required us to evaluate our own beliefs and upbringing and consider what the Bible said to come to a conclusion for our relationship.

But the work we have done and continue to do in our relationship is a small picture of the church. 

In Genesis 4, families started to separate. In Genesis 11, languages were scattered. In Genesis 12, one family line (Abraham) was given a distinct blessing.

But that wasn't the original design. The original design was unity in the beautifully perfect paradise (Genesis 1-2).

Throughout his life and ministry, Jesus started to proclaim a new reality that would get closer to the unity of the original garden. A reality where Jews (Abraham's line) and Gentiles (not Abraham's line) were going to dwell together. He confirmed that by his proclamation in Acts 1:8 when he commanded his disciples to "be my witnesses...to the ends of the earth."

And that is the reality we continue to live in.

Striving for unity in the body of Christ until the restored paradise will become reality. Where people from every nation, tribe, people group, and language group will worship the Lord together (Revelation 7:6)

As our conversations deepened and I started to immerse myself in a new culture, we realized something.

Our goal is not to be cultural, but biblical.

I realized that this meant that no matter what culture I set my foot into, I should be able to worship with them freely because we serve the same God, just in a different way. The Biblical norms and expectations should be the same because we have the same standard.

This became true in our relationship as well.

Instead of arguing about how to raise our children or how many times we should read our Bibles, we started looking to the Lord in prayer, His Word and wise counsel. And we started to find unity.

Of course there are still decisions that are hard to decipher. It requires constant communication, prayer, humility, and growth, but having the foundation and unity in God's Word gives us a unified guide to propel us forward. So as many of you have been praying, that is one huge way God has been hearing and responding to your prayers. Thank you!

It is because of this reality (and some other factors) that we have decided to do our wedding a different way. Seeking to combine two cultures into one to give us a preview of heaven on earth and unity in Christ.

It is still an ever-evolving reality, but we are grateful for the grace of God in the process.

10 days until God's name can be glorified through the combining of two cultures into one!

The Lord (not Milton) is my Shepherd

 

For years I lived life as a single woman. 

Attending sporting events, concerts, and church by myself. Living with people or dogs as roommates. Making decisions solo and handling all the work required to live (cleaning, cooking, caring for the dog, bills, working, etc. etc.) without a partner to share it with. 

Now when I say it like that, it sounds terrible. Why would anyone ever want to live life like that? 

But I loved it! 

How? 

Because the Lord taught me through a loooong journey that He is my Shepherd, so I have everything I need (Psalm 23:1). 

I decided that I didn’t want to sit around and wait for a man, which meant missing all the amazing opportunities I had all around me. 

So I didn’t. 

The Lord helped me see that His mission for His people - to love Him, to love others, to make disciples, and to be sanctified - could be completed as a single woman or as a married women. 

My prayer became, “Lord, I love the life we have together. I can sit with a friend's sick daughter on a dime because I don't have my own children to worry about. I can stay late talking with a friend because I don’t have dinner to prepare and children to care for. I can serve in multiple ministries at church and in the community because I don’t have the responsibility of being present with my family. 

Lord, I love this life I am able to live with you, BUT if you ever see the need to put a man in my life because I can serve you better with a man by my side or because there are things you can teach me that I can’t learn alone, then I will gladly accept that gift too.” 

So when Milton came along, it took some adjustment on my part. I had to think about someone else before I went on a trip. I had to consider another opinion and think about preparing dinner instead of staying to eat with a friend. I was used to just answering a call from the Lord or taking an opportunity without question.

But I started getting used to it. 

Having someone else to help me navigate the culture. A “hello” and a “goodbye” hug. Someone there to help me navigate my crazy emotions and still help me see Biblical truth, even about myself. It became comfortable. Familiar. And nice.

And then, my rock left. 

And I cried. 

How was I going to live life without this constant presence I had grown so used to?

It was in that moment that I realized that in my heart, I had been turning to my love instead of to my Lord. I used to do everything by myself with the Lord by my side, but I had forgotten my first love (Revelation 2:4). 

I quickly ran to the Lord and repented of my error. And I praised Him for saving me and helping me remember that He is my shepherd, not Milton. 

Yes, the Lord has put Milton in my life to guide me and protect. He has provided Milton to lead me and provide. 

He has given me Milton as a shepherd, but Milton is not THE shepherd. 

He is the shepherd put in charge of me until the other shepherd comes for me. He is “on the ground” while my Shepherd is preparing a place for me. (John 14:2)

“The Lord is my shepherd. I have everything I need.” (Psalm 23:1, RSV)

I was so grateful for the lesson that helped me construct our relationship on Christ. 

It was a foundational truth that I needed to make sure that my ultimate worth and dependence was not found in my love. Although he is pretty close to perfect 😜, he is not perfect and cannot carry the weight and responsibility that God himself is meant to hold. 

It is not because of Milton that I have everything I need. It is not because of His love and presence and care. 

It is because of the Lord that I have everything I need. 

The Lord (not Milton) is my shepherd. I have everything I need. (Psalm 23:1, my addition). 

11 more days! (10 for us here in Liberia since I’m getting to this at such a late hour!)

Two becoming one

"Don't plead with me to abandon you or to return [to my homeland] and not follow you. For wherever you go, I will go, and wherever you live, I will live; your people will be my people, and your God will be my God...may the Lord punish me...if anything but death separates you and me." ~Ruth 1:16-17

Every person (and women specifically) is looking for security. Every person wants to be fully known and fully loved. They want to be protected and cared for. They want to know they are safe. 

The world at the time that Ruth spoke these words was very dark with death, disease and famine. In this already dismal world, Ruth had lost the only hope she had. Her husband. In that culture and time, the death of a husband meant more than just losing a companion. It meant losing your status in society, your income and your promise of a life and a future. 

Women in that culture would have been right to go back to their homeland to grieve and marry to simply maintain a normal life. But Ruth shines her humility and love in choosing to stay true to her commitment, not only to her husband but also to his family.

Instead of running back to familiarity, Ruth displays a beautiful reality of HESED love that is not fully captured in the translation. She demonstrates her faithful commitment to Naomi and the family, her loyal love, and her generosity by staying with Naomi (her mother-in-law) even after the death of her husband. She demonstrates that when she said "I do," it was a covenant that went beyond her own satisfaction. It was a covenant to the entire family. 

As my love and I move forward to enter into our own covenant, the reality of this account has touched me in a different way. 

In Liberia, families enter into a covenant together in addition to the couple getting married. The bride's family gives their daughter to the groom's family, who promise to love her and protect her and take care of her. In Liberia, you don't marry a person. You marry a family. A community. 

Just like when you and I enter into a covenant with the Lord, we "marry" the body of believers that have also agreed to follow and worship him (i.e. the church). In fact, the Greek word for "fellowship" is "koinonia" which is also the same word for sexual intercourse!

Now, I don't want to get things out of proportion, but this culture and these ideas have helped me see something I used to miss.

The idea of community is different here. When you are a part of a community, you are a PART of that community. Even if you never see or don't even know the people, you are still connected by a common bond. You will fight for that person.  Protect that person. Die for that person. Because they are a part of YOU. 

I have been challenged to hold the same view with my fellow believers. 

We are all part of the same tribe. 

Believers in India, Liberia, Germany, and America are all bonded together by the powerful person of Christ. 

As we look forward to heaven, we look forward to the day when our brothers and sisters from every nation, tribe, people, and language will stand before the throne of God with white robes and palm branches worshipping the Lord with a united voice (Revelation 7:9-10). 

We will finally experience the reality of the HESED love of God that has not given up on us but has demonstrated his enduring commitment, loyal love, and generosity by staying committed to us even when we didn't stay committed to him. 

And that is one picture we hope to display on the day of our dowry payment. 

Two individuals from different cultures, coming together as one flesh to worship and serve God.

Two families from different nations, coming together as one body of Christ to demonstrate His glory.

Two tribes representing MANY people groups coming together to worship forever in Spirit and in truth.

12 more days until we prayerfully display this beautiful reality!