Tears or No Tears...that is the question

I grew up in a family with a lot of tears. Many of them were mine. 

In fact, when Milton asked my family what they should know about me, they said, "Be prepared for tears."

Tears have always been a comfortable emotion for me to express many emotions...sadness, overwhelm, fear, happiness, and the list goes on.

Imagine my surprise to learn that Liberians do not express themselves using tears...ever. 

The only permissible time to cry is when someone has died or if someone is leaving and you don't know when (or if) you will see them again. 

This reality sent me on a journey to understand what the Bible says about tears and emotions. 

A journey that landed on Psalm 37. 

"Fret not yourself..."

I learned that "Fret not" represents an idea communicating to not be controlled by your emotions. 

It refers mostly to the emotion of anger, but the idea can also be extended to tears. I realized that being controlled by anything, including your emotions, does not properly display the self-control commanded throughout Scripture (fruit of the Spirit anyone??). 

Thank you Liberia for helping me to learn that tears are good when they are put under control.  

See the video below to hear some more thoughts on what the Lord taught me about emotions and Scripture.

In the meantime, I am grateful for how my love has the attitude to be a student of my emotions to help guide and protect me in the process. 

As I prepare for a very emotionally exciting day, here is a good reflection. 

9 more days!! 

One Unified Body

This mystery is that the Gentiles are fellow heirs, members of the same body, and partakers of the promise in Christ Jesus through the gospel"  Ephesians 3:6.

"There is neither Jew nor Greek...for you are all one in Christ Jesus...heirs according to promise." ~Galatians 3:28-29

As we prepare for our union as a couple, one reflection has become clear. 

We were both required to give up something in order to unite as one body. 

As we started to get to know each other more, our discussions centered around what we had been taught and beliefs we had developed and taken as our own over the years. 

We touched on different topics, and it became clear that our relationship would need to be based not on our opinion or the culture but on the Bible. 

So we started studying. Starting with the gospel and moving outward to the everyday ways of life, we started talking.

Who is Jesus? How has He impacted your life? What does “taking the Lord’s name in vain” mean? What does church leadership look like? What roles will we each carry in the relationship? What will parenting our children look like? 

Hours and hours and hours of conversation and counseling all centered around Bible-reading and prayer. Each topic required us to evaluate our own beliefs and upbringing and consider what the Bible said to come to a conclusion for our relationship.

But the work we have done and continue to do in our relationship is a small picture of the church. 

In Genesis 4, families started to separate. In Genesis 11, languages were scattered. In Genesis 12, one family line (Abraham) was given a distinct blessing.

But that wasn't the original design. The original design was unity in the beautifully perfect paradise (Genesis 1-2).

Throughout his life and ministry, Jesus started to proclaim a new reality that would get closer to the unity of the original garden. A reality where Jews (Abraham's line) and Gentiles (not Abraham's line) were going to dwell together. He confirmed that by his proclamation in Acts 1:8 when he commanded his disciples to "be my witnesses...to the ends of the earth."

And that is the reality we continue to live in.

Striving for unity in the body of Christ until the restored paradise will become reality. Where people from every nation, tribe, people group, and language group will worship the Lord together (Revelation 7:6)

As our conversations deepened and I started to immerse myself in a new culture, we realized something.

Our goal is not to be cultural, but biblical.

I realized that this meant that no matter what culture I set my foot into, I should be able to worship with them freely because we serve the same God, just in a different way. The Biblical norms and expectations should be the same because we have the same standard.

This became true in our relationship as well.

Instead of arguing about how to raise our children or how many times we should read our Bibles, we started looking to the Lord in prayer, His Word and wise counsel. And we started to find unity.

Of course there are still decisions that are hard to decipher. It requires constant communication, prayer, humility, and growth, but having the foundation and unity in God's Word gives us a unified guide to propel us forward. So as many of you have been praying, that is one huge way God has been hearing and responding to your prayers. Thank you!

It is because of this reality (and some other factors) that we have decided to do our wedding a different way. Seeking to combine two cultures into one to give us a preview of heaven on earth and unity in Christ.

It is still an ever-evolving reality, but we are grateful for the grace of God in the process.

10 days until God's name can be glorified through the combining of two cultures into one!

The Lord (not Milton) is my Shepherd

 

For years I lived life as a single woman. 

Attending sporting events, concerts, and church by myself. Living with people or dogs as roommates. Making decisions solo and handling all the work required to live (cleaning, cooking, caring for the dog, bills, working, etc. etc.) without a partner to share it with. 

Now when I say it like that, it sounds terrible. Why would anyone ever want to live life like that? 

But I loved it! 

How? 

Because the Lord taught me through a loooong journey that He is my Shepherd, so I have everything I need (Psalm 23:1). 

I decided that I didn’t want to sit around and wait for a man, which meant missing all the amazing opportunities I had all around me. 

So I didn’t. 

The Lord helped me see that His mission for His people - to love Him, to love others, to make disciples, and to be sanctified - could be completed as a single woman or as a married women. 

My prayer became, “Lord, I love the life we have together. I can sit with a friend's sick daughter on a dime because I don't have my own children to worry about. I can stay late talking with a friend because I don’t have dinner to prepare and children to care for. I can serve in multiple ministries at church and in the community because I don’t have the responsibility of being present with my family. 

Lord, I love this life I am able to live with you, BUT if you ever see the need to put a man in my life because I can serve you better with a man by my side or because there are things you can teach me that I can’t learn alone, then I will gladly accept that gift too.” 

So when Milton came along, it took some adjustment on my part. I had to think about someone else before I went on a trip. I had to consider another opinion and think about preparing dinner instead of staying to eat with a friend. I was used to just answering a call from the Lord or taking an opportunity without question.

But I started getting used to it. 

Having someone else to help me navigate the culture. A “hello” and a “goodbye” hug. Someone there to help me navigate my crazy emotions and still help me see Biblical truth, even about myself. It became comfortable. Familiar. And nice.

And then, my rock left. 

And I cried. 

How was I going to live life without this constant presence I had grown so used to?

It was in that moment that I realized that in my heart, I had been turning to my love instead of to my Lord. I used to do everything by myself with the Lord by my side, but I had forgotten my first love (Revelation 2:4). 

I quickly ran to the Lord and repented of my error. And I praised Him for saving me and helping me remember that He is my shepherd, not Milton. 

Yes, the Lord has put Milton in my life to guide me and protect. He has provided Milton to lead me and provide. 

He has given me Milton as a shepherd, but Milton is not THE shepherd. 

He is the shepherd put in charge of me until the other shepherd comes for me. He is “on the ground” while my Shepherd is preparing a place for me. (John 14:2)

“The Lord is my shepherd. I have everything I need.” (Psalm 23:1, RSV)

I was so grateful for the lesson that helped me construct our relationship on Christ. 

It was a foundational truth that I needed to make sure that my ultimate worth and dependence was not found in my love. Although he is pretty close to perfect 😜, he is not perfect and cannot carry the weight and responsibility that God himself is meant to hold. 

It is not because of Milton that I have everything I need. It is not because of His love and presence and care. 

It is because of the Lord that I have everything I need. 

The Lord (not Milton) is my shepherd. I have everything I need. (Psalm 23:1, my addition). 

11 more days! (10 for us here in Liberia since I’m getting to this at such a late hour!)

Two becoming one

"Don't plead with me to abandon you or to return [to my homeland] and not follow you. For wherever you go, I will go, and wherever you live, I will live; your people will be my people, and your God will be my God...may the Lord punish me...if anything but death separates you and me." ~Ruth 1:16-17

Every person (and women specifically) is looking for security. Every person wants to be fully known and fully loved. They want to be protected and cared for. They want to know they are safe. 

The world at the time that Ruth spoke these words was very dark with death, disease and famine. In this already dismal world, Ruth had lost the only hope she had. Her husband. In that culture and time, the death of a husband meant more than just losing a companion. It meant losing your status in society, your income and your promise of a life and a future. 

Women in that culture would have been right to go back to their homeland to grieve and marry to simply maintain a normal life. But Ruth shines her humility and love in choosing to stay true to her commitment, not only to her husband but also to his family.

Instead of running back to familiarity, Ruth displays a beautiful reality of HESED love that is not fully captured in the translation. She demonstrates her faithful commitment to Naomi and the family, her loyal love, and her generosity by staying with Naomi (her mother-in-law) even after the death of her husband. She demonstrates that when she said "I do," it was a covenant that went beyond her own satisfaction. It was a covenant to the entire family. 

As my love and I move forward to enter into our own covenant, the reality of this account has touched me in a different way. 

In Liberia, families enter into a covenant together in addition to the couple getting married. The bride's family gives their daughter to the groom's family, who promise to love her and protect her and take care of her. In Liberia, you don't marry a person. You marry a family. A community. 

Just like when you and I enter into a covenant with the Lord, we "marry" the body of believers that have also agreed to follow and worship him (i.e. the church). In fact, the Greek word for "fellowship" is "koinonia" which is also the same word for sexual intercourse!

Now, I don't want to get things out of proportion, but this culture and these ideas have helped me see something I used to miss.

The idea of community is different here. When you are a part of a community, you are a PART of that community. Even if you never see or don't even know the people, you are still connected by a common bond. You will fight for that person.  Protect that person. Die for that person. Because they are a part of YOU. 

I have been challenged to hold the same view with my fellow believers. 

We are all part of the same tribe. 

Believers in India, Liberia, Germany, and America are all bonded together by the powerful person of Christ. 

As we look forward to heaven, we look forward to the day when our brothers and sisters from every nation, tribe, people, and language will stand before the throne of God with white robes and palm branches worshipping the Lord with a united voice (Revelation 7:9-10). 

We will finally experience the reality of the HESED love of God that has not given up on us but has demonstrated his enduring commitment, loyal love, and generosity by staying committed to us even when we didn't stay committed to him. 

And that is one picture we hope to display on the day of our dowry payment. 

Two individuals from different cultures, coming together as one flesh to worship and serve God.

Two families from different nations, coming together as one body of Christ to demonstrate His glory.

Two tribes representing MANY people groups coming together to worship forever in Spirit and in truth.

12 more days until we prayerfully display this beautiful reality! 

The Comforts of Home

It's funny how God works. 

I had typed out an entirely different post (maybe you already read it!)  Then I went to post it on Instagram and the Spirit changed the message!

"Leaving the old comforts of home for the new comforts of home to look forward to the redeemed comforts of home."

On June 16, 2025, I left all the comforts and familiarity of my old earthly home to come to my new "home" in my soon-to-be HUSBAND!

And what a sweet home I have found in him. 

He is the patient, patient, patient (did I mention patient!) constant to my ever-changing wild and crazy ideas. 

He is the rest to my work. 

He is my rock in the storm. 

He is so wonderful! 

But in addition to gaining a new home in my love, uprooting my life has shown me that home is where Christ is.  

"For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also." ~Matthew 6:21

As I learn to view Christ as my home, it changes my whole outlook on life. 

When Christ is my home, heaven is the place I long for. 

When Christ is my home, my house and my job are temporary. 

When Christ is my home, I see a person's soul rather than their poor behavior. 

When Christ is my home, I have freedom to love my love DEEPLY and FEARLESSLY. 

So now, as I look forward to marrying my love, I reflect on the beauty of the lesson I have learned (and am still learning!

The "home" I am looking for is an "imperishable, undefiled, and unfading" inheritance "kept in heaven for [me]." (1 Peter 1:4)

My home is in heaven. 

And when my home is in heaven, things on earth start to look a little different. 

So as I start a new chapter of this journey with my love, I praise the Lord. 

My physical "home" used to be for me. 

Then the Lord brought a beautiful partner to walk through life with as a new "home."

And together we are striving toward our eternal home. And that is the greatest home of all. <3

13 more days!

Now you see me, now you don't...

 "Hello? Hello??" 

As my love and I started communicating on the phone, this was a common phrase said often by one of us as we navigated reception issues, power outages, language & cultural differences, and finishing minutes (think TrackPhone days!). 

There were many times that I would ask a question and only understand 1 out of every 4 words that came back my way. 

Communication in beginning (and continuing!) a relationship is hard. Imagine only knowing every 4th word of what the other person was saying!

It was difficult. But we didn't give up. 

The differences motivated us to learn more and find different ways to communicate. 

"Let me text this one." 

"Let's try video. Nope, not enough reception. Send me a photo when you get better reception."

"Let me move locations." 

"Where can I learn more about that part of your culture?"

When I heard the now-familiar "beep, beep" of What's App trying to connect the call, the following verse in 1 Corinthians 13 started coming to mind:

"For now we see only a reflection as in a mirror, but then face to face" (verse 12a).

As I looked at Milton's reflection through those broken phone calls, I was able to get a small picture of who he was and what his country/upbringing was like. And then I came to him. I saw his full face. Held his hand. Met his family. Listened to stories of those who had gone before. Learned that "dirt" means "trash" and "Hello" is only for the afternoon. 

My whole world opened up. Things that never made sense before finally. Made. SENSE!

My understanding of Milton grew more in 8 weeks than in the 10 months of broken communication leading up to it. 

This is such a beautiful reality of heaven. 

Right now, we can only see a reflection of who God is in His Son, in His Word, and in His broken (yet graciously redeemed!) church. There are times that I look at God and things just don't make sense. Sometimes my sinful heart can't see past my anger. Sometimes my finite mind can't make sense of a specific theology or happening in the world. Sometimes I am simply tempted to cut off all communication. 

And then, I remember. 

This is only a reflection. 

I didn't give up on Milton. I found ways to communicate with him. My relationship with God is the same. Just because I don't understand why...(insert difficult understanding here)...doesn't mean I stop communicating with him. 

When I didn't understand something about Milton, I found ways to understand it better. When I don't understand something about God, I can do the same thing. 

"Let me text this one."  - "Let me read your Word about this one."

"Show me a picture." - "God, help me understand. Bring me someone who has walked a similar path."

"Let me move locations."  - "Let me go on a walk away from the distractions to see if I understand better."

"Where can I learn more about that part of your culture?" - "What theology or Biblical teaching might help me understand this better?"

As we seek to know and love God in this broken world, there will be difficult times. There will be times we don't understand and we cannot see how it could possibly work. But we continue to seek His face and trust that when we get to heaven, we will know. We will know fully. 

"Now I know in part, but then I will know fully, as I am fully known." (1 Corinthians 13:12b)

What a beautiful picture displayed in marriage. Before marriage, we only know in part, and then we are fully known. 

Here on earth, we only know the Lord in part, but in heaven we will know Him fully. 

As we look at the faint and dim reflection, may we remember the best is yet to come. <3 

14 days!

Dark paths, Dark coasters, and the Light of God's Word

 Have you even been on a dark roller coaster? 

The kind where you strap yourself into the car and entrust it with your life as you are led around curves, loops, and drops that you don't see coming? 

This is what life has felt like the last two years. Despite our best efforts, my life with Milton has been very unexpected and unpredictable. At one point in this season, I looked at the following month. I didn't know which country I would be living in, who I would be living with, how I was going to get money to live, or whether I would be married or unmarried, among other life questions. I considered how I "should" be scared and uncertain. 

It is in this season that the Lord has taught me the depth of truth in Psalm 119:105:

"Your word is a light onto my feet and a light onto my path."

When you are walking on a dark path, the only thing you can see is what the light is showing you. You can't see the next turn, the dark cliff to the side, the animal lurking in the dark. You can only see the next step. Even typing this is giving me the heebeejeebees. 

Yet, a dark roller coaster sounds thrilling and exciting?! How???

Both the dark path and the dark roller coaster are essentially the same...I don't know where I'm going. I don't know what to expect when I get there. I don't know what surprises are waiting for me. 

But here's the difference. The dark roller coaster is a controlled path that has been tested. So when we get into that roller coaster car and strap ourselves in, we feel safe. We can trust the process. Even though we don't know the details, we know we will be okay and even enjoy the ride!

The Lord has helped me see that in my life. He is the trusted roller coaster car. When I look around to all the unexpected turns, drops, and loops, I become overwhelmed and miss the excitement and joy of the journey. When I focus on Him and know that I am definitely safe in His car, I can fully enjoy every twist, turn, and loop knowing that "I know how the story ends." (Thank you, Shane and Shane!)

May the Word of the Lord and the truth about Him that the Word reveals continue to guide our every step. We serve the Sovereign Creator of the Universe who loves us and cares for us. He will hold us and keep us to the end. 

"And I am sure of this, that he who began a good work in you will bring it to completion at the day of Jesus Christ." ~Philippians 1:6

15 more days until this earthly union <3

Undefinite amount of days until our heavenly one <3